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old outcasted poetry

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Yuki & Mason
Name
Kiki

old outcasted poetry

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Yuki & Mason
All Alone

Calling out to no one
Cause no one can see me
In my time of need and pain
Breaking apart
From the one that started it all
But leaving the note of salvation
To save a soul that’s left behind
In a word of endless
Timeless rhyme.


All Lies

There’s no such thing
They’re all lies
That could never happen
Outside of a tale
No one would ever give themselves up
To save another, they loved
No one would risk it
Or even think about it

They tell us we can be anything
It’s a lie
I can’t be what I want
Because if I could…
I wouldn’t be alone
I’d be with you

They leave
Without a goodbye
No one in a fairy tale
Ever did that
They tell us lies
An then expect us to survive
In this cruel world
A world missing love
And inhabitants of those lies
A world without true love
Or a prince to save you

A world with only wicked stepmothers
A world missing those lies
Which they taught us so well
Its only the truth
No more lies
Time for reality
And They Never Lived Happily Ever After…


Drowning

At night when I sleep
I sometimes weep
I awake and my pillows wet
But its not sweat
Its tears of pain
That fall down like rain

And bring back a thought
That I hoped would rot
Rot away after these years
Full of tears

Doubt of forgetting
Getting lost in this netting
Which has me entwined
In my very own mind

Left to be struggle to be free
The tide ebbing me out to sea
To get lost once more
To get farther for shore

From the safety I never knew
From the things I never do
Like forgetting about you.


Evil Waiting

Evil scattered everywhere
Hidden in the under brush
Waiting for a time to spring
And kill us all
From the inside out
First, kill our hopes and dreams
Then make us come apart at the seams
While evil walks among us
Inside some of us
Slithering through veins
Slinking threw minds
Entangled in another’s soul
Hiding and waiting for the right time
To destroy us all.


Frozen Heart

Were the nights always this cold?
Did they always freeze me inside, out?
Did they always make me shiver?
Like they do now
Did they always freeze my heart first?

The shivers return but were they here before?
Were they waiting for the right moment to reappear?
Or are they new to me, just leaving someone else?
To go tot the coldest person now,
The person whose heart is frozen solid?
Like mine is, but not for the first time,
This time I know the chills are for me,
But they are because of you.


Frozen Hell

The hate is here
In all its splendor
Frozen in its evil wrath
Pining and desiring chaos
The lifer and love is sucked dry
By the frozen hell

The mistakes of people
Destroy us all, in frozen hell
Frozen hate, in frozen death
The lost love, the lost life
Dispersed among the hell
Flying around mocking us
Teasing us, laughing at us
Telling us what we lost
Telling us what we miss
And what we should have
But no the frozen hell
Swallows us all.


Guilt

Guilt hurts the soul but never subsides
it makes people act as though they were told
And yet as days pass its still there
Consuming the hate of what you have done
To make you feel the way you do
And makes the guilt even worse
When you try to hide it,
Guilt is just like that.


Sympathy and compassion

I'm all void of compassion or so you like to say
I’m all out of compassion in every single way
Don’t f*** with me why can’t u see
I’m all out of sympathy
So tired of being the last to know
So tired of being let go
So I don’t let anyone in and keep you all out
It’s easier then living with this doubt
Who I am you'll never see
I’m lost in my own impossibilities
Don’t f*** with me
It’s plain to see
I'm all out of sympathy
For people like you and me


Thursday, June 23, 2005
Doomed Dreams

Dreaming it doesn't make it true
Just another thing on the list to do
Its all the same
Because dreams crash & burn
Dreams don't come true
No matter what you do
So why even think about what could be
Cause in the end you'll see
It's all a fantasy...


Monday, June 20, 2005
All The Same

If it really mattered, you'd know
But then again, my feelings never show
Because they're never obvious
I'm the best liar you'll ever meet
A lie i tell can't be discovered
Because its all the same
Lies, The Truth
All they do is end in pain
I'll never be the same
But anyway, Why does it matter,
HOW LOUD I AM
Its all the same to me
Cause i've lost all sanity
With you around me..


Friday, June 17, 2005
You can't hear it...

Its 2 am and here i sit pretending
i dont know what you'll do
once you get back
you'll lay me out flat
whether i say yes or no
you'll have a good go
leave me crying
then accuse me of lieing
tell me i wasn't home tonight
i was out
you know i was
even if it isn't true
you telll me not to lie to you
so i just say your right
unless i want another fight
i better agree with you
its not hard to understand what you want
cause all of yours have become mine
my thoughts begin to dwindle
as you force me into bed
telling me if i dont
tomorrow i'll be dead
i'll whisper my prays
And end amen
you never realizing
i asked god to strike you dead


Whispered Warnings

Hushed Undertones
Breathless Pants
Silent Cries of Terror
Fearing for her Life.

There he was
Then and there
She shuddered
The fear filled her
She went anyway
Stupid girl the wind whispered.

Next thing she knew
She was on the floor
Of somewhere
Not knowing where she was
Lost and confused
She remembered nothing
Except his grin
That glared meaningfully
It frightened her.

She saw swirled memories
Of the events but no more
Somehow she knew
What had happened

She had passed out
On his lap
He said he’d take her home
But it wasn’t her home
Where she found herself.

She couldn’t remember
But she knew
He had prayed on her
She was another victim
She would never be
The Same…


The Pain of Love?

Pain of Pains
Hurt of Hurts
Destroyed to the Point…
Of Extinction

To be Pained by the Memory
A Memory of Love
Of All You Ever Wanted
And What You Once Had

It Will Kill You Inside
And Rot You so Deep
You Can Never Love Again
To Never be With Them
Only to Know They Once Loved You
Is Like a Fate,

A Fate Much Worse Then Death
I Would Die a Thousand Deaths
Just to Be With You Again!


Anymore

I lost my faith
When you disappeared
I lost my soul
When you said those words
I lost my heart to you

But you just raced right threw
Leaving me to fend for myself
Placing me like another trophy
On your shelf

You didn’t care
You wanted me
That’s all

You said you loved me
What a load of shit
You wanted me to fall
Head over heals in love
And it worked

I let you in
I let you find out about me
I let me be yours
Then you just left

Oh why did I care so much
I hate the way you loved me
I hate the way I felt about you
I hate the way I lost myself in you
I thought you were different

I fell for your act
And I can’t take it back
Because you stole my heart
And won't give it back
You tricked me into loving you
But I don’t want to love you
Anymore


Tears

I cry till my face is sticky with tears
Until my tears reach my pillow
And soak it through
Until I finally don’t hate you anymore
Till I finally hate…Someone Else


Wish I Hadn’t

I cry these tears for you
Or maybe it’s for me
I can’t see why I cry
You left and I wept
But why did I?
I thought I loved you
But maybe I didn’t
I thought you loved me
But maybe you couldn’t
Maybe you used me
Or never felt anything

But I wish I hadn’t
I wish I hadn’t loved you
Or done anything for you
Or known you at all
I thought you were mine
But now I know you
I know you don’t love me
Or care about me
Because you never did.


Breathless

I can’t breathe; I can’t think
My mind’s racing; It can’t stay on any thought
My Heart’s pounding out of my chest
Standing in still silence, staring out at you
I lost my breath; I lost my thoughts
Breathing seemed impossible
Until you came over, then it was impossible
You left me breathless


Do I Still Matter?

Am I still important to you?
Do I still matter?
Do your thoughts still dwell on me?
Can you still want me?
Or will you not let yourself?

Cause your still on my mind
Almost every waking moment
Ever since, we said goodbye
Not a single moment goes by
Without you crossing my mind
At least a dozen times

So what do you say?
Do I still matter?
Do we still fit together?
Are we still us?


Because I…

I cry because I can’t not
I run because I can’t stay
I hide because I can’t see
I hate because I can’t love

I don’t’ want to smile
I don’t want to laugh
I hate being sorrowful
I hate anyone who can survive
I hate that I care no one cares

I hate whenever I see them
Them as in the happy ones
Because I am a sad one
A sad one, the only one
A sad one as in me

The only lonely sad despiser
The only sad me


Pray for What?

Pray to the mountains
Or pray for your soul
There is no goal
To the prayers of life
Merely to enrich oneself
With a belief in something…
Unreal and Fake


The Third Person

There’s you and me but one more
You can’t see him but he’s here
He’s somewhere deep inside of me
And whispers all day long
But when I sleep he’s awake
Doing something wrong.


Fearsome Love

Fearing rejection
From the one you love
Refusing to be told off
Praying to be accepted
By the person you care
For more then life, it’s self
If you were rejected
Do you know what you would do?
Most would die a bit inside
And never stop to rest
Have a need to be saved
And wish for life itself to end
Cause their fearsome love
Is long gone
And the one they love
To them is dead.


Whether or Not…

I'm so fake again but I always am
In the end I hate this again
There’s no one to befriend
Cause no one understands
I'm crushed by these demands
Whys it matter how it started
Or how it ends
Cause I'm dead anyway
Whether or not I still breathe
I'm dead
Whether OR not I bleed
I'm still dead
Whether or not I smile
I'm fake
Whether or not I'm sad
I'm smiling
No one understands
How I hate all this
And how it finally ends
God it’s so hard to lie
To Ur friends
But then again
What else can I do?
I lie to everyone
Probably even you


Blank...

I hate myself and everyone else
I hope it all ends
Cause I hate all my friends
And I wish I was alone
To finally forget the endless drone
Inside my head
God sometimes I wish I was dead
Then again
Whys it matter to begin with
Cause soon ill be dead
I'm so tired of these thoughts in my head
That never leave me
But go on instead
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